Wednesday, August 02, 2006

My What not to Wear party

So I threw my own what not to wear/queer eye for the straight guy party this last week. I guess I would say it was successful, but I was hoping for a more enthusiastic response from my friends and family.

Gabby designed the invitations, I wrote most the copy:

You won't believe Ben's new look...

Ben is turning over a new stone...

Get to know the Ben with even better taste in clothing and cuisine...

Goodbye crappy clothes...Hello awesome and stylish clothes!

See what Ben has done with his hair (hint: it will BLOW YOUR MIND), and experience the luxurious grip of his properly moisterized hands...

Watch Ben roll sushi, and engage his new cultural knowledge.

Witness Ben's deliberate, professorly-looking gruff...

Come listen as Ben shows his new look and reads some papers on Bureaucracy and Education, and talks about his scholarly interests in preparation for job-talks at Colleges and Universities this next Fall...

Ben is totally excited to reveal the new Ben...

I was being honest, I was totally excited to reveal the new me. And, judging from what I'd seen on these shows, I thought a lot of people would be too.

So about 6 people came. I was waiting upstairs for about 15 minutes, until Gabby said I should come down. I wish I had picked better music for my entry, and I guess I was hoping for more gasps and applause and laughter and general enthusiastic approval. And yes, more than 6 people would have been nice too. I guess I would say that I was a little disappointed in the response, a couple people said, "hey Ben, what a fun idea!" and I was more looking for what I have become accustomed to seeing on the TV shows I was trying to replicate: "Whoa! No way! Wow! Ha Ha Ha Ha, this is great! I can't believe the change! You look fantastic! Wow, yes, read us another paper! What??!! You roll your own sushi??!! Wait a second, did you just say genre? This is great! Wow! This was so fun to see the new Ben!" But I still love my new look, and attitude.

If I thought I could throw my own "What not to wear" party, and come off with the same results as the TV shows, I was wrong. There is a ton of work in the background to help get the friends and family and audience excited and motivated to say really nice and thoughtful things. I'm not bitter, but consider that my last "What not to wear" party I throw for myself, unless I have way more support, and ideally some sort of television production, and audience cheer-leading crew.


  1. you won't believe me, but mike was actually interviewed to be on the show.

    we would have gone to your party. for the sushi if nothing else

  2. I was deemed too hip to begin with or was that too gay. Whatever. the bottom line is that I didn't get a 50 inch plasma for free.

  3. Jerks! Which show?

  4. Ben-
    you wrote:

    "I'm not bitter, but consider that my last "What not to wear" party I throw for myself"

    It seems like you make this exact same thing every six months and then like clockwork, we get another invitation in the mail. It was kind of fun the first time. Of course we all thought you were being ironic until you slapped the waiter because he spilled juice on your white slacks.

    You want us to say it? Ben, you have good style! You are up on all the latest fashions! You know more about fiestaware than anyone we know! There, its been said. Now maybe you can finally start to live your life. Mike Fuller is confident in his metrosexual existence. Why can't you be?

  5. Ben, most of those shows are a scam. I know, because I work in the entertainment industry.

  6. I prefer the term gay-like. Metrosexual is a word invented by the news. Nobody actually uses it. Now gay-like. I hear it all the time.

    For example, when I walk through the Tenderloin, you might hear something like this, "Man, I know that guy is straight, but his walk is so gay-like."

  7. TWIMC: I am in the market for some gay-like white slacks.

  8. Ben, I am volunteering to be the crowd cheer leader for your next show. I could send you an audition tape if you would like.

  9. post a picture for us goners who can't see your new look!

  10. Well, we live far away and haven't seen you for a while, so your transformation would probably have more impact on us. We could set something up out here. We know people (Topher, working in "the industry" and all).

  11. So Ben I have given it some thought and I think you should try again via webcam.

  12. I think you're SO much more professorial as a blonde. And the soul patch is a perfect mix of subtlety and hipness.

    Maybe not so much teeth whitener next time, though. I don't want you drawing attention at my black-light party, if you get an invite, that is.

  13. Come back to us Ben.

  14. I would have loved to see this! I actually tried to get Justin on the show - he didn't even get an interview like Mike.