Friday, September 30, 2005

Two memories

When I was in 6th grade I was really hoping to get the presidential fitness award. I had just barely missed it the year before, and I was running around to the Star Wars theme a lot more in 6th grade, so I was more fit than past years. It (the presidential fitness level) seemed to come so easily to Matt (Lohner) Seth (Trammell) Scott (Cloward) and the like. They could do the 50 yard dash in like 7 seconds consistently, no problem. I kept missing it.

Finally I asked Mrs. Hill if I could try it galloping once. She was a bit confused by my request. I told her to trust me, just man the clock, and let me gallop. "Please. You'll see, I'm positive I can gallop faster than I run." Soon she would see, I imagined, that I was well within the presidential benchmark. She finally gave in to my pleadings. I imagined obliterating my best time and the rest of the class—first blown away by my speed—lining up to learn how to gallop. I galloped the 50 yards, feeling that my speed was pushing nature's boundaries, and impressing my classmates and other kids on the playground. I approached Mrs. Hill in a sort of "told you so" attitude, and she told me that I was a little bit slower than my previous run.


To get the hiking merit badge, I had to complete a 5 mile hike through a city/village/or otherwise developed area. I asked Willard Gardner if he could be my counselor. I requested to do it like this: we would walk 2 miles to McDonalds, I would then order and eat a 20 piece chicken McNuggets, then we would walk back the long way home. He agreed, and that's what I did to complete my hiking merit badge.


  1. Ben,
    I just wanted to say that I have been laughing at all of your posts (including the current)for about an hour now. Soooo funny.
    But the audio of "9-5" was the best thing that has EVER come out of the blogging world. EVER.

  2. Sweet! Two legs or four?

    c jane nailed it. 9-to-5 is absolutely the best.

  3. In fifth grade I received the Presidential Fitness Award. I've never told anybody this, but every time I ran a mile I would submit five. I was the only student in the whole school to receive it. My numbers were so high they gave me a SPECIAL award to go with it...

  4. Steve: 2 legs. Have I not shown you my gallop?