Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Stanley Cup

The Stanley Cup* Sports Challenge began in the Summer, 1999. The Stanley Cup consists of 10 events which change every year. If you were to add the scores of each participant from each Stanley Cup, I am likely in the top 3, if not the outright top spot. Put briefly: I am a force to be reckoned with in the Stanley Cup. Of course, if you know the Stanleys, this may not be saying a whole lot. Following are some highlights and events from past Stanley Cup Sports Challenges:
1. Pulling a compact car 10 feet on level ground with a rope.
2. Dips
3. Ping-pong tournament
4. Dodgeball
5. BMX biking around the block
6. Who can gather the most pennies from the bottom of the pool over two minutes
7. Race to the top of Black Hill in St. George**.
8. High Jump
9. Bocce
10. Batting cages (note for next time: it's hits that matter, not power)
11. Laser tag
12. Bean bag toss from Josh's hot air balloon
13. Stand up comedy routine
14. Who can hold his breath the longest under water
15. Archery
16. Joust
17. Peg-board
18. Sportsmanship***
19. The winner of each year's competition gets the bronzed guzzler and the Stanley Cup plaque with the names**** of all past winners.

Some notes:
Q:Isn't it sexist to not involve female participants in the Stanley Cup?
A:I suppose so.

Q:Could you explain the Stand up comedy routine?
A: Yes. This is one of my personal favorite memories. The Stand up comedy routine competition took place in the Stanley's back yard at about 2:30 in the afternoon, the sun was bright, the seating was limited, and the audience was comprised of the other participants and 2 judges. Each participant had one minute to perform his routine in front of all the other participants (who had a vested interest in NOT thinking the other participants were funny). Imagine continuously striving (for 60 seconds) to be funny to a hostile, quiet crowd standing about 5 ft from you in bright daylight. I didn't do very well, but one joke I told that I still love (co-developed with Weston Spencer ca. 1989) goes like this:
Q: What is the longest thing known to man?
A: String

*My wife's maiden name is Stanley. The Stanley Cup takes it's name from her family (the Stanleys), and the Cup is a "bronzed" Guzzler used by my late Father-in-law, Mike Stanley.
**The Stanley Cup typically takes place in St. George, all legitimate Stanley Cups have been held here, except the one in New York.
***Sportsmanship is a separate event each year. This ensures that all participants conduct themselves in the spirit of good sportsmanship. It isn't actually true that sportsmanship is an event each year or any year.
****Each year's winner actually selects a "nickname" to go on the plaque. Past selected nicknames include: Jed, Snaggle-tooth, Pony-boy, and Pac-man. Technically, Pony-boy has never been selected.


  1. Correction: The first ever Stanley Cup was held in the summer of 1999. However, if you are admitting that the first year didn't really count (you still have yet to go through the tent to complete the obstacle course) I would understand fully. 2000 is when the REAL Stanley Cup started.

  2. Salem: I am changing the original post to reflect a 1999 inauguration. As you may or may not recall, I was the undisputed champion that year.

  3. Oh I remember, I remeber you not going through the tent, thus not completeing the obstacle course, thus not scoring points in that event, thus not becoming Stanley Cup Champion. And Ben, that was over five years ago, what have you done lately?

  4. Well, I have consistently been competitive, and I was the winner for the one in New York except that I volunteered to make it a winner-takes-all rock-paper-scissor finale and I took third in that (which, by the way, by traditional Stanley Cup rules, that would still place me in first)--but I'm fine with not winning, I volunteered, noone forced me into it. I was still a respectful competitor.

    Technically Michael Jordan fouled Byron Russell to make the game winner in game six. Technically the shot clock ran out before Ron Harper shot his three pointer that the refs counted, and technically the shot clock had not run out before Howard Eisley shot his three pointer that the refs didn't count. But noone is seriously questioning whether the Bulls are the rightful champions. It is part of the territory. Such things happen in emotional, physical competitions where superstars rise to the occasion, and even in the face of controversy true heroes respect the rightful champions.

    If I were you, my main regret would be to have not thrown the basketball game (when we were teammates) that would have put me out of the running rather than letting me warm up to torch (in a manner of speaking) the opponents. But Salem, such is life.

  5. I meant to mention that the New York Cup was the most recent, so I think it should count as recent.

  6. I should mention that Salem has likewise been very competitive in each Stanley Cup. He has won one, and he has placed high in most, and truth be told, he probably would have won--or at least placed very near the top--in the ones that he couldn't attend (because of mission, marriage, etc.) But you see that is part of the strategy in devising events for the Stanley Cup!!! Since events can't repeat in consecutive years, it is in all competitors' interests to hold events that Salem would compete well in during the years which Salem doesn't compete!

  7. Truth be told Ben I do have a big regret from the Stanley Cup. 2000 one event we had was pass-interception at the park. Of course I was winning the event, and due to the rotation you did not have a partner on offense to play against Jared. I volunteered and gave you the number one spot in that event. I cannot remember a time when felt more betrayed.