Sunday, June 05, 2005

10 candy bars

I have a fairly popular and accurate nerd test. I ask the person to name a fruit (and there is no prompting except for this simple question) and if he or she answers 'tomato' it's a nerd. The one answer (that I actually got, and I have witnesses) that put the system in overload was 'avocado'. I hadn't even taken into consideration that someone could exceed the limits of my test.

In a similar vein, when I say, 'name a good candy bar.' And the person answers with some fancy 'Milka' (OOhh, is that a European candy?...Impressive selection!) or some other reference to some obscure/impressive candy, I can conclude perhaps not the the person is a nerd, but that they are demonstrating their cosmopolitan knowledge, not their taste for candy bars. (But Milkas really are my favorite! That chocolate is WAY better than the American psuedo stuff! Really? Impressive!.)

So here is a list of chocolate candy bars that I would saddle any of my horses with. I apologize if your favorite candy bars don't appear on the list, feel free to make suggestions, but based on my research methods (see below) I don't see much change coming), but you never know, do you? You never know.

10: Reeses peanut butter cup

9: Almond joy

8: Hershey's chocolate bar with almonds

7: Twix (peanut butter)

6: Hershey's chocolate bar

5: Krackel

4: Symphony with almonds and toffee bits

3: Snickers

2: Twix (caramel)

1: Kit-Kat

You probably didn't think that kit kat would win, huh? I was surprised as well. As background, most of my information comes from which candy bars I get at the check out at the grocery store. I know that there is a sense of getting ripped off with a kit-kat, like it doesn't have "the goods" (i.e. nougat, caramel, or peanut butter) of other bars that it outscores. But that isn't what I'm looking for in a candy bar, what I most look for in a candy bar (usually) is that it tastes like a kit-kat.


  1. There's nothing worse than people who say "Oh and what about. . ." or "why didn't you mention. . ." when referring to a top 10 list that you've obviously put a lot of thought into so I just wanted to say I really like Milky Way Dark, but not more than Kit Kats. Them are good.

    PS: Whenever I see a police officer I've been practicing: "Are you also authorized to issue a warning?"

  2. Josh stanley5:50 PM

    So would dots count as a candybar? I mean I know they would count as candy. and if you get them warm and squish them together you could form them into a bar. And you have peanut butter cups on your list and they arnt rerally a bar, they are more like a disc or a cup. If dots count I think you should put them on your list.

    Anyway, dots arn't even really my favorite what I really like are shprekkels, they are kind of like dots but way better. You can only get them in Icelands.

  3. Kacy: Milky Way DARK? You mean, like semi-sweet chocolate? Huh. Interesting. I suppose you prefer mounds to Almond joy? Palpatine to Yoda?

    Josh: Those Shprekkels (or is it schprekkels?) sound terrific.

    On the inclusion of reeses peanut butter cups:

    If I ask, 'what is your favorite candy bar?', and someone answers: "Well, I guess its not technically a candy bar, its more a disc or cup, but probably Reeses peanut butter cup" I think most people would say, "Oh, yeah, I see where you're coming from." But if that person answered, "Well, I guess its not techinically a candy bar, its more fruity bits of chewy candies--Dots." I think most people would say something along the lines of: "Whoa, no. That really is not a candy bar. We would have to really loosen our notion of 'candy bar' for that to count."

  4. Dad, I don't know about your list, but it's kind of lame. I only like your top 3. What about Butterfinger? That's the best candy bar in the world.

  5. Bruce4:18 PM

    On the candy bars: I guess tastes differ. I enjoy just about everything on your list, but my two favorites you list are Hershey's chocolate bar with almonds and Almond Joy. Kit kats are pretty good but down the list a ways for me.

    My very favorite current is NOT ON YOUR LIST!--Dove Dark Chocolate. It comes both as a bar and in packages of individually wrapped pieces (called "Dove Promises"). For one thing, Dove Dark Chocolate is actually good for your. (Margaret disputes this, but it's really true.) And it is deeply satisfying. It makes many other kinds of chocolate seem either insubstantial or too sugary or milky by comparison.

    We just got back from Beijing where we discovered new varities of Dove candy bars, including milk chocolate and hazelenuts. It's great! Does this version, or others (like Chocolate mocha & almonds or white chocolate), exist in the States?

  6. So Dark chocolate tastes nasty and is good for you? Since when is dark chocolate a vegetable? I guess I would hate to have my candy bar actually taste sweet. That is the last thing I look for when purchasing candy.

  7. jared8:52 PM

    Remember those Chick-O-Sticks? I think it was just butterfinger center without chocolate, but it was like $.15 and it stuck in your teeth for a little bit like a butterfinger. Anyway, I'm with ralph. i love butterfingers too.

  8. bruce2:12 PM

    OK, I sense some skepticism about dark chocolate. First of all, dark chocolate doesn't mean bitter, unsweetened chocolate, though it does have less sugar than milk choclate. When I said it didn't taste sugary, I meant that it doesn't taste like a cube of sugar with a dash of chocolate. It actually tastes like choclate. (But don't worry--it has sugar too.)

    And yes, dark chocolate (at least some versions of it) is good for you. For more information, check out these links:,5778,s1-3-71-56-2380-1,00.html

  9. bruce2:26 PM

    Sorry: some of the links I sent in my previous message got truncated (do you know that word, Ralph?). I'll list them again, but split them up a bit so the whole address comes through.

    You can probably either click on these or cut and paste them into your address bar.

  10. Bruce: excellent links. Though I would never pick dark chocolate over milk chocolate, I think this research is promising. I also love how you describe dark chocolate not as tasting nasty, but also not tasting like 'a cube of sugar with a dash of chocolate'. Perhaps the best line so far on this blog?

    I have usually felt that people who prefer dark to milk chocolate are either:

    1. dumb
    2. confusing dark and milk chocolate

    I'm not sure about the availability of said chocolate bar in the states, but that makes it an excellent candidate for an impressive candy bar! I think I will need to make a list of impressive candy bars soon.

  11. In Elder's quorum, the teacher passed around a bag of Baby Ruths and a bag of kit-kats. After secretly hoarding like 5, I thought this was a great opportunity to compare the two. I really was looking to be re-converted to Baby Ruths. Instead, my suspicions were confirmed. Baby Ruths taste stale and nasty. Kit-kats have the goods. They have the goods!

  12. Ben, you undoubtedly had a Sunday School teacher who was secretly getting rid of his 5-year-old supply of Baby Ruths. Many people have used Baby Ruths in their Year's Supply Program without really considering the consequences. Then they give them to their Sunday School classes without mentioning how old the bars are. I personally do not eat Baby Ruths because my mother-in-law is named Ruth and it feels somehow wrong to eat anything even symbolically like her. I do, however, give her a kiss on the cheek whenever I see her.
    Ben's 50-year-old sister
    (Name withheld to protect privacy)

  13. I apologize for coming into this conversation so late, but I simply can't withhold my opinion: Dove dark chocolate is the best candybar ever. And I'm an extremely healthy person.

    I do have to note that the Kit Kats in England are much better--the chocolate is a much better quality. I think, as Americans, we could learn a lot from a community who cares enough about their chocolate to refrigerate it in vending machines.